Robbie A 🍕 is a user on spooky.pizza. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse.
Robbie A 🍕 @Alamantus

A week ago, I mentioned I was gonna write a solarpunk story. I have just 2 chapters so far—an environmental scene and a dialog scene. It's not very solarpunk-y yet, but I'd like some feedback on the direction if you want to check it out:

alamantus.gitlab.io/solarpunk-

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@Alamantus Really nice. Well written and after the second chapter I'm intrigued to find out more about the compound - just as Isaac is!

My only criticism is that "I'm glad I was lucky enough to grow up there." says "there" rather than "here". I feel like if she's talking about her home and where she is currently that would be more appropriate. That or I've misunderstood that part.

Other than that it's really good. Keep at it!

@adzwoolly thanks for reading it! I'm glad you think it's good so far, too!

As for the word choice, I used "there" because the two of them are currently on the boat heading back to the compound and aren't there yet. Do you think there's a better way to make it clearer that there's some travel time before they get back?

@Alamantus Ah yes, that makes sense. The chapter starts with "The boat" so I think I just somehow made that the compound in my mind. It's entirely possible this is down to me being tired at the moment. I'm happy with the word "there" now.

Will you be posting here when you add new chapters?

@adzwoolly Ok, cool. Haha it happens to the best of us :)

I don't know how frequently it'll be, but yeah, I'll probably post here when I add them!